I think I may have a bit of depression, for no good reason (which is often the case)

Is it a bad sign when you take a few online depression tests and answer at least "sometimes" or "often" to most questions? It peaked my curiosity this morning, only took a few minutes, so I said to myself, what the hell.

I've never thought there was anything wrong with me (physically/mentally) my entire life (perhaps besides some quirks, but everyone has those), nor do I ever remember feeling depressed for longer than maybe a day or 2 (until recently, that is). I'd hate to be one of those people who thinks they have a problem but really doesn't.

To the same extent, if a problem exists, it won't go away by ignoring it, which I think I've been doing.

I've never read anything significant about depression in my life. Now that I read about it, it is quite surreal when a lot of it makes sense/hits home and seems to hit the right chords, so to speak, like:

-Negative thoughts constantly running through head
-Not enjoying some things as much as I used to
-Lack of confidence
-Feelings of hopelessness
-Difficulty thinking clearly
-I spend a lot of time thinking about what has gone wrong, what will go wrong or what is wrong about myself and others
-Increased anxiety
-I worry way to fucking much for no good reason.
-Disturbed sleeping patterns

I feel much better now by admitting the possibility I'm depressed to some extent. The negative thoughts that seem to overwhelm me during the day (though I get over it, eventually, but usually not with enough time to get a lot of work done) I know now I can get rid of. Gotta look on the bright side, I'd rather think I'm depressed than to think I'm losing my mind. ;)

Whatever it is that I'm going through, it can be exhausting trying to fight off your own thoughts. Stupid brain! :) It's annoying having lots of negative thoughts run through your head when you've been an optimist most of your life. It's that optimism I have to get back.

I think a lot of it stems from the fact I've lost interest in school, almost entirely, now that I think of it. I have to admit that to myself before I can get it back. I gotta tackle everything with renewed enthusiasm, and slow my brain down a bit when the "depressive" style thoughts come by, and stop worrying about perceived past mistakes. Perhaps a crayon through the nose to the proper part of the brain? ;)


On a somewhat related note,
I think I should not watch or read the news anymore (even the Windsor Star). It just makes me feel like having no hope in humanity whatsoever. For instance, I read an article today where someone stole a dead 2 year old's princess tiara from her coffin during the funeral.

It suddenly felt the ground get a bit warmer; I bet the flames of hell are revving up for that monster.